A Sardar & his wife filed..

A Sardar & his wife filed an application 4 Divorce. Judge
asked:
How’ll U divide, U”VE 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We’ll apply NEXT YEAR

Sardar was filling up application form for a job..

Sardar was filling up application form for a job. He was not
sure as to what to be filled in column “Salary Expected”.
After much thought he wrote: Yes!

Sardar: I haven’t slept all night in the train.

Sardar: I haven’t slept all night in the train.
Friend: Why?
Sardar: Got upper berth.
Friend: Why didn’t u exchange?
Sardar: Oye, there was nobody to exchange in the lower berth..

Sardarji is in Delhi...

Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has a Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower. Sardarji says "Yes". "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."
The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Sardarji figured he was taken for a ride. On the next day the Sardarji is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the clock. "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says "I am not a fool.This time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder."

A Sardar dials the vet's..

A Sardar dials the vet's number in the middle of the night, "Doctor, this is an emergency. My favourite dog has collapsed. I am not too sure whether he is already dead. Please advise what to do." ...
"First of all, you need to confirm whether he is dead" ...said the vet.
- "Okay, just hold on for a minute please" ... answered Sardarji.

There was a silence for about a minute, and then the vet could hear a gunshot over the phone.
- "Yes, it's confirmed that he's dead ... next advice please" ... asked the Sardar.

One day a sardarji was sitting..

One day a sardarji was sitting in his office on The thirteenth floor building when a man came running in to his office and shouted "Santa singh your daughter Preeto just died in an accident" Sardarji was in panic. Not knowing what to do he jumped from his office window. While coming down when he was near the tenth floor he remembered he didn't have a daughter named Preeto. When he was near the fifth floor he remembered he was not married.When he was about to hit the ground he remembered he was not Santa Singh.

Santa: My wife is still scared of water..

Sardar 1: My wife is still scared of water
Sardar 2: how come?
Sardar 1: yesterday when i went home, she was in the bath tub with the security guard!!

The doctor told Sardar..

The doctor told Sardar that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he would
lose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Sardar called the doctor to report he had lost the weight,
but he had a problem.

"What's the problem?" asked the doctor.

I'm 2400 kms from home.

There were eleven people hanging..

There were eleven people hanging onto a rope that came down from a plane.
Ten were sardar, and one was a girl. They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn’t, then the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally the girl said, "I'll get off."
After a really touching speech from the girl saying she would get off, all of the sardar started Clapping.

Sardar and Tomy Blair..

Sardar and Tomy Blair were having candle-light dinner.
Tony Blair said, "Pass the wine u divine"
Sardar thinks "How poetic"
Then Sardar says "Pass the custard u bastard"

There were two Sardarjis..

There were two Sardarjis Bantya and Santya, employed as bombers. They had to place a time bomb in order to explode a building. So they were going on their destination in a car. On their way Bantya asked Santya, "Santya what will happen if the time bomb explodes in this car itself." Santya replied "Don't worry, I have a spare one!!!!!"

Tell me the opposite of good..

Interviewer: Tell me the opposite of good.
Santa Singh: Bad.

Interviewer: Come.
Santa Singh: Go.

Interviewer: Ugly.
Santa Singh: Pichlli.

Interviewer: U G L Y?
Santa Singh: PICHLLY !!!!!!!

Interviewer: Shut Up.
Santa Singh: Keep Talking.

Interviewer: Get Out.
Santa Singh: Come In.

Interviewer: Oh my God.
Santa Singh: Oh your Devil.

Interviewer: You are Rejected.
Santa Singh: I am Selected.

One Sardar was enjoying Sun ..

One Sardar was enjoying Sun on a Beach in America. A lady came and asked him, " Are you relaxing (relax singh)" Sardar answered '" No I am Banta Singh" Another Guy Came and asked the same Question. Sardar answered " No No Me Banta Singh" Third one came and asked the same question Sardar was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place. While walking he saw another Sardar enjoying the Beach. He went and asked him " Are you Relaxing?" The other Sardar was much educated and answered "Yes I am relaxing " Our Sardar slapped him on his face and said, Everybody is searching you there and you are enjoying here."

In one local cricket match,..

In one local cricket match, a Sardar raised his bat on making 35 runs.
His partner asked "Sardar, there is no century or half century or winning moment. Why did you raise your bat?"
The Sardar replies,
"You don't know the value of 35 scores (passing marks). I know it from my school time."

Sardar lost his cheque book .

Sardar lost his cheque book .
Next day, he goes to Bank manager to inform him about it .
Manager says : Be careful any one can put your signatures, check daily with bank as our computers
are not working, I can't arrange for stop payments.
Sardar: Dont worry Manager , I have already signed all cheques, so nobody can sign.

Sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat.

His friend asks him "What Sardarji? Are you afraid of the cinema?"

Sardarji replies "I am an intelligent man, I know it is a movie, but does that animal know?"

Sardar starts shouting in a store......

Sardar starts shouting in a store......
where is my free gift with this oil?
Shopkeeper : there is nothing free with this
Sardar: it is written CHOLESTEROL FREE.

Java interview attended by Sardarji

Java interview attended by Sardarji

Q. Explain 2 tier and 3 -tier Architecture ?
A. Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres and auto rickshaws will have 3 tyres.

Q. I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server? Which methodology will follow?
A. Send it through courier.

Q. Can I modify an object in CORBA?
A. As you wish , I do not have any objections.

Sardar as a Director:

Sardar as a Director:
You should jump to the Swimming Pool from 100 Ft Height
Hero: I don't know Swimming.
Sardar: Oye don't Worry Yaar! Pool is Empty...

What is the similarity between Bill Gates and Me?

Sardar: What is the similarity between Bill Gates and Me?
Friend: I don't know.
Sardar: Well... He never comes to my house & I never go 2 his!